Still Hating It: Cellphones

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I just can’t stand these things but I know I could never live without them, they are just too convenient. I don’t like how they’re fucking up our culture though. Selfies, Instagram, hashtags and loud calls on the bus are but a few things I find annoying as hell. Especially the loud calls on the bus. Seriously, at least turn off the fucking speaker function on your cellphone and talk into it like a normal person. You fucking animal! People were perfectly capable of living their lives without these things before and I like to think that they were probably happier for it.

And if I ever catch one of you motherfuckers that’s constantly vaping on Line 1, I’ll shove that thing all the way down your throat, press the button and end your life in the last “dank cloud” you’ll ever blow in your life. 

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Still Hating It: Snow

Seriously, fuck snow. I’ve been more or less confined to my building since Sunday because of this pure bullshit from the heavens. I shit you not when I say that I almost got impaled by a foot-long icicle downtown today. Why couldn’t Ingólfur Arnarson find the Canary Islands instead of this desolate rock in the North-Atlantic. I know bitching about the weather is pointless since it’s uncontrollable, but still, fuck snow. Summer can fuck off too, but that’s a topic for later.

The Starbucks Marxist

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The Starbucks Marxist tweets out #ResistCapitalism on his made in China Iphone. He does not care that they were made by people who live under a Communist regime which exploits their labor.

The Starbucks Marxist wears trendy clothes advertised by the big corporations. He is blind to this hypocrisy just as he is blind with his politics (and fashion sense, I might add).

The Starbucks Marxist preaches the glories of Communism from the comfort of his privately owned home, on his privately owned computer he bought with salary he collected from a privately owned corporation he chooses to work for.

Please, don’t be a Starbucks Marxist. If you want to preach a socialist revolution, at least get your own principles straight and practice what you preach. #WhereAreTheRealCommies?